Saturday, 17 March 2012

Every Women's Body is Different

My cervix is very high and very soft.  The red bleeding I had first thing this morning that I assumed was my period.  I have been to the washroom about 3 times since then (I put a pantiliner on when I noticed the bright red) and there was nothing but very very light brown discharge or CM.  So I checked my cervix and it was hard to find it... it was so high and so soft.  I have been doing so much research the past few weeks about cycles and ovulation and symptoms, and CM and CP and I think I finally came to the conclusion that every women is different.  No 2 cycles or 2ww symptoms are the same.  I read about 2 people having the exact same symptoms, and one is pregnant and one isn't.

 I read about some people getting pregnant on their first cycle trying.  I too was wishful thinking.  And then there are couples who have been trying for 6 months, and 12 months, and 4 years.  To go through 4 years of trying must be hard on people.  But they still seem optimistic.  This is my first time trying and part of me thinks that I screwed it up.  I knew that sperm could only live for a few days but I thought hey it has happened before that got pregnant from 7 day old sperm.  I dont know how people that have been TCC for over a year get through it.  They must be strong people.  I feel bad for them.  Then again, if I got pregnant on my first cycle TTC, I would feel bad that it happened to me, and not to a couple who has been trying for so long :(  I have wanted a baby for a few years, but knew that the timing was not good, but if we started to try a few years ago maybe I would be a mom by now.  Wow I am very emotional today.  Marc has been gone for 3 weeks now an I miss him so much.

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